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Shopping Pain
Teresa Chang
	Last month I graduated from college.  My parents gave 
me a trip to Europe and also promised me that I could buy my 
graduation present there.  Prior to the trip, I thought about 
buying a Gucci bag.  So when I went to Europe, I only had two 
goals to accomplish: having a great time & shopping.  It was a 
great feeling to know that I could buy almost anything I wanted.  
      When I was in Venice, I saw my store: Gucci.  It was 
awesome!  I went in and walked around and found what I 
wanted. It was a beautiful, shiny, black, leather purse.  The sales 
lady told me how much it was and I even showed it to my 
parents so that they would be prepared to make such a 
purchase. :) I didn¡tt buy the purse in Venice because it was too 
much trouble carrying a big Gucci shopping bag around, 
although I liked the idea of showing off my new purse.  
      When we arrived in Florence, I saw the Gucci store there as 
well.  I thought, ¡LWow God really wants me to see Gucci.  He 
must also want me to get that purse!¡²  Although the store was 
closed, we spent some time window-shopping and I saw my 
purse once again sitting on the shelf waiting for me to take it 
home.  I was determined to buy it!  In my heart, I knew that 
money wasn¡tt important and that ¡Lthings¡² couldn¡tt buy 
true happiness.  But I had convinced myself that I needed a 
souvenir, a purse, a real Gucci purse.  Because of these 
convictions, I put myself in a cage.  I was trapped because if I 
didn¡tt go home with one, I would feel empty both physically 
and emotionally.  
	Then we arrived in Rome, this would be the place where I 
could finally get my purse.  However, it was also a turning point 
of the trip for me.  We attended Mass at the St. Lorenzo church.  
(For those who are unfamiliar with the saint, he died as a martyr 
by being cooked to death on a gridiron.  St. Lorenzo also serves 
as the patron saint for the poor, the ill, and the neglected.)  A 
Chinese priest who served at the church told us about the history 
of the church and also about his life as a priest and how he 
wants to evangelize to the Chinese people in Rome.  He told us 
that there were about 300,000 Chinese people but only 200 
were Catholic.  I was saddened by what he had said because I 
am also a Chinese Catholic, so I see the importance of 
evangelizing to the Chinese.  The priest also said that the church 
didn¡tt have the resources to provide for visiting priests, nuns, 
and lay people.  After hearing him talk and attending Mass in 
that church, I was overwhelmed by the priest¡ts love for God 
and St. Lorenzo¡ts courage to stand up for his faith.  
      I looked at myself and felt ashamed.  These priests work so 
hard to do God¡ts work but they don¡tt even have what they 
need.  But I believe that God will provide so I think in some little 
way, God asked me to provide for that church.  So I made a 
decision.  I decided to give up my purse for God and to donate 
that money.  I felt proud at that moment, but I never thought that 
I could feel so sad as well.  The hardest part about that decision 
really came on the next day when we went shopping because I 
would see so many nice things but wouldn¡tt be able to have 
any of them.
	I didn¡tt want to go into Gucci because I had already 
given up my purse.  But since I promised some other people to 
go in with them, I had to.  I was telling myself to be strong and 
not to take back my word.  I would not buy that purse no matter 
what.  When I went in that purse was the first thing I saw.  It was 
like we were old friends. :)  I know that sounds silly, but it 
seemed as if we already knew each other.  I had seen it in 
Venice, Florence, and now we were in Rome together.  I was 
supposed to take it home, but I knew that I couldn¡tt.  It was 
incredibly hard for me because I saw ¡Lmy¡² purse and I could 
not have it.  It was a great pain that I have never experienced in 
my life.  To know that you could have had something that you 
really wanted, but to have given it up is indeed bittersweet.  I 
didn¡tt have any regrets about giving away that money.  But at 
the same time, I felt empty inside because I allowed that purse to 
fill me up with happiness.  I allowed it to control my happiness 
and I was terribly hurt.  I had tears in my eyes as I watched other 
people admire ¡Lmy¡² purse.  I know that it may sound crazy.  
How can anyone love a purse so much?  How could someone 
cry over a stupid object?  But I did.  I don¡tt know why.  But it 
just hurts when you can¡tt have something that you could have 
had.  It hurts even more, when you are the person that decides 
that you shouldn¡tt have what you really want.
      I went to Europe expecting to come back with bags of 
goodies for myself or at least that one Gucci bag that I was 
dreaming of.  Instead, I came back empty handed.  However, I 
did bring something wonderful back with me.  While I don¡tt 
have anything tangible to show anyone, God has given me a 
very special gift, one that can¡tt be bought in a store or with a 
credit card.  He has given me the gift of charity and that makes 
me truly happy.  
      I know that in the end, I did the right thing and that I have 
learned many lessons, which I would like to share with everyone 
else.  I know that these take time to master, but it is something 
good to keep in mind.  

Number one: Happiness from material things will always pass.  
Novelty always wears off.  Once you have something, you don¡t
t appreciate it as much.  
Number two: True happiness comes from peace of mind and 
heart and God is the only one that can give it to us.  
Number three: Don¡tt put yourself in a cage or lie to yourself.  
Don¡tt tell yourself that you need something when you know 
that you really don¡tt.  
Number four: Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant. 
 The price of two Gucci purses is around 1000 dollars.  Think of 
what church could do with all that money!  Serve God with your 
love and time and also with your donations.  A church can¡tt 
grow without the financial support of its members. 
Number five: Our church needs help from everyone.  If we 
receive from this church, then we must also learn to give back.  
Our Chinese Catholic Church needs as many individuals to put 
in their time and commitment as possible so that we may 
continue to grow.  We don¡tt have enough volunteers!  I would 
love to see us work together as a community to serve God and 
one another.  We must not wait for others to serve us.  We must 
learn to be generous and humble like Jesus.  We go to church to 
learn about God¡ts teachings but church should also be a place 
where we practice these teachings.  It is in this willingness to 
give and to sacrifice that we can build both a stronger faith and a 
stronger church.

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